It’s high time now. Since a long time, the whole world has conspired against Taliban and Pakistan. The poor guys do nothing, yet they are blamed for almost everything that is wrong in the world, except of course the recession. I think the world missed this opportunity.
But just look at what’s been happening ever since… err… I dunno when but looks like a really long time. I’m sure there will be earlier events as well, but I’ll just try and recollect the events as I remember them.
The first time I became aware of this global conspiracy was when the twin towers crashed. This was done purposely by the Jews so that superpower America would misunderstand this attack as by Taliban and go after them in peaceful Afghanistan. After all Afghanistan was at that time the only place in the world which was ruled by the only and most staunch followers of peaceful Islam – the Taliban. So the Jews blasted the twin towers and ya, they also made sure that No Jews were killed by circulating a memo to Jews in every office. 4000 Jews remained absent on that day.
Then again, more recently, Hindu Zionists, in order to fuel hatred and spoil Pakistan’s image in the world went on a rampage in Bombay killing everyone in sight and leaving a million clues that pointed to Pakistan. Well, their own Indian countrymen they killed were actually a sacrifice in order to further the Global conspiracy against Pakistan. Now poor Pakistan, initially tried its best to avoid the blame but the conspiracy was so well planned that evidence was planted in Pakistan as well. So to save face, the innocent government pleaded not guilty but put the blame on non-state actors. The torchbearers of peace and truth in Pakistan which included all religious parties rallied in support of Jamaat-Ud-Dawa which was the charitable venture of LeT and its peaceful founder Hafiz Mohammad Sayeed and denied any involvement in the Mumbai attacks. They said that their schools only provide ‘vocational’ training to the youth of Pakistan. The youth are being trained on how to survive off dry fruits and medicines which is very important in today’s world. Further, the training also guarantees them a placement in heaven amongst virgin wives in the after world.
The government of Pakistan always had a soft corner for these non-state actors including the aggrieved Taliban who were pushed out of Afghanistan by America. After all, these are the same actors who have been playing lead roles in Kashmir’s ‘freedom struggle’. Few years back, these actors were shooting in Kargill and India mistook that shooting of the gun kind. They started crying hoarse that Pakistan attacked India and launched a counter attack. The world obviously was on India’s side. The Pakistan government ate, drank (only water, not alcohol, that is haram) and slept together for years with these freedom fighters. How could they just let their dear friends take the blame for this conspiracy by the world?
In order to kiss and make up, the Pakistan government presented the most beautiful valley in their country to Taliban as a pet project for implementation of the Taliban’s peaceful version of the Sharia Law. They decided that if successful in Swat, the law would be extended to the whole of Pakistan. This honest attempt of the Pak (which aptly means pious) government to restore peace in the country was obviously frowned upon by the rest of the world. How can the world let them live in peace?
Thus, in another attempt to malign Pakistan, foreign powers yesterday attacked the Sri Lankan cricket team in Lahore thus ensuring that the world turns against peace loving Pakistan (and I guess even to ensure that no more Shoaib Akhtars are produced. After all, no cricket playing nation wants their batsmen to face his barrage of deliveries at 100 miles). Javed Miandad, the samdhi (father of daughter-in-law) of Nobel Peace prize winner Dawood Ibrahim yesterday said terrorists do not have any religion or nation. He said those responsible should be punished after investigation (obviously trying to draw attention to the conspiracy of the world against Pakistan).
What is the world coming to? What do they have against the Islamic Republic of Pakistan? Why can’t the world let them live in peace? Can’t the world see, Pakistan is a victing of the world’s greatest conspiracy of all time? I feel really sad for Pakistan and their people.
PS. The last line is not sarcastic. It’s heart felt.
Wonderfully done Rakesh. Very nice. Indeed poor little Pakistan!
Excellent written.Hey include nuclear man as well.He has not done anything wrong hence he is out from the house arrest.
Terrible. Everyday there is some bad news. And Pakistan was moving towards this for a while…
They have been unstable, and I fear we are going to be like them soon if we don’t wake up even now. Like them we also have our own little groups, attacking our own people, even talking like them … maybe I sound selfish, but I fear more for how this will affect all of us in India, which it will.
And no doubt the common citizen in Pakistan also must be very worried right now. I also feel sad for Pakistan and it’s people …
Hey by the way, very well written. Apt cartoon too. Agree with you on these silly conspiracy excuses, it is so frustrating to see them do this!
Every one in pakistan is having a doctorate in conspiracy theory
i really feel sorry for the innocent and the liberated citizens there…
at the same time scared… they are too near and our border is too long… !!
god restore some sanity there !
That was truly a heartfelt post on behalf of Pakistan. Made me weep copiously for a few hours continously .
esp Javed Miandad, the samdhi (father of daughter-in-law) of Nobel Peace prize winner Dawood Ibrahim yesterday said terrorists do not have any religion or nation.
and
“The Pakistan government ate, drank (only water, not alcohol, that is haram) and slept together for years with these freedom fighters. How could they just let their dear friends take the blame for this conspiracy by the world?”
A few more posts like this will surely garner enoff support to save them from being persecuted by the World for ‘simply’ no reason at all.
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
😀
If not sarcasm, cynicism perhaps?
😉
Haha,,, true…. the last line should not be mean…. actually I too feel sad for innocent people of Pakistan.. but then what’s use of feeling sorry for a portion when as a whole the nation is just a pain all the time..
Btw, mail me on vbharti[at]gmail[dot]com.
really good one Rakesh!brilliantly done!
and yeah agree with the last line..one can only imagine the fear and horror they must be going through
Ha..ha..ha.. hilarious piece on a sad situation.
I think Pakistan being created in 1947 was the biggest conspiracy ever.
Zionists Hindus in India wanted a scapegoat to push all their war, religious etc crimes on. The west endorsed this creation and poor Pakistan was born.
In 1971, Pakistan could not bear to see the blame game being played on their brothers in East Pakistan and hence with the help of India created Bangladesh. This was done so Pakistan would be the only one victimized by the world. What a sacrifice the Pakis made…..
@GM: Yep, PlP
@Varunavi: Yes he wasn’t selling nuclear secrets, he was selling them playboy magazines I guess he he.
@IHM: Yeah, after reading Dhiren’s post yesterday I was thinking that we might be feeling relieved that it was Pak and not India but if the way things are going continue, the day might not be far.
@Maya: Read Satyajit’s comment above. Purrfect conspiracy theory 🙂
@HW: Of course, the fall out of Pakistan failing will have consequences in India as well.
@Nancy: Cruel you. Typical Indian *smiling wickedly*
@Terra: No no Terra, Last line was the truth 🙂
@Vee: Yeah, I guess you’re right. But then, that’s what we are about 🙂
@Indy: Horror indeed…
@Solilo: Hilarious? I’m serious *rolling eyes* he he
@Satyajit: Yes buddy, I guess this was the greatest conspiracy of all time… I guess, it is time to send a few more people to Pakistan. Lets start with Raj Thackrey?
RAKESH..I must say it is one of the best post I have read/seen in the recent past.I thought I was a keen writer on politics(keen not expert).I hope we will get read such blogs again.My best compliments.
The whole situation sucks … I hate these blame games ….Don know who is wrong but things are wrong …
A very intelligent post … U rock Man!!!
@B K Chowla: I’ll keep writing with even more enthusiasm if I start getting paid for these awesome posts 🙂 he he
@Lubna: I know Lubna 🙂
Great write up. Wasn’t sure where it was going when I started reading.
you opened up my eyes to what is actually going on in this world!
Enlightening post!
Halfway through, I still hadnt got the sarcasm in the tone of writing. I was thinking someone else has written this but then I finally got it. Tubelight you see. 😛
But true..the state of affairs in Pakistan is just going out of hand… God save that country!!
@Joules: Seriously, thats why I started it with the Zardari cartoon…
@Amreekandesi: Yeah buddy, more ppl need to know about ‘the’ truth
@Smriti: Tubelight is an understatement, especially with the cartoon at the top???
Awesome post Rakesh…nice sarcasm…
@ Rakesh
Phhhttt!!!! 😛