Have you ever seen an original Kung Fu movie? The likes Jackie Chan started his career with; The stuff childhood fantasies are made of; Exotic styles of Kung Fu against which your comical superheroes would appear to be mere sissys; Shaolin monks and their moves… Yeah the likes of ‘Snake in the Monkey’s shadow’ and ‘Fearless Hyena’.
The storyline of all Kung Fu movies would be the same. Bad guy kills good guy with a never seen before move, good guy’s son or disciple would be a good for nothing jerk but he’d want revenge. He’ll grow up with only one thought and that of revenge from the bad guy. But his Kung Fu is not that good. He’d spend his life learning and perfecting Kung Fu but it would never be as good as the bad guy’s special move. It boils down to the amazing climax wherein he’s finally face to face with the bad guy. He’d be getting beaten black and blue by this bad guy so he would finally have to find deep within himself, his own special move, his signature style which will ultimately be the end of the bad guy.
The effect of watching a Kung Fu movie would last for days, we’d watch it over and over again, trying to make sense out of the lightning fast moves and our spare time would be spent discussing on how to perfect our Kung Fu. A simple act of getting our plate and serving ourselves lunch would be Kung Fused, so to speak. We’d discuss for hours on stretch on how the good guy’s step was far more lethal than the bad guy and, What would we do if we knew even 10% of their Kung Fu. We’d wonder as to, Why don’t they make such movies in India?
Well, finally somebody woke up. But consider this, what if I wrote a Bollywood version of the above storyline, similar to my previous post? Bad guy kills good guy, separates his twin daughters, one grows up with the mom, other with the bad guy, a jerk from Chandni Chowk lands into China mistakenly perceived to be the savior but he gets beaten badly and humiliated by the villain; Learns some comical moves in Kung Fu, but still has to search within himself for that special move. Since he’s a cook, his special move is chopping vegetables, kneading dough and all and that’s what he uses to kill the bad guy.
Where the writers Shridhar Raghavan & Rajat Arora haven’t screwed up, Nikhil Advani has come to the rescue by making the movie a cheap joke of the art (Kung Fu) that we grew up worshipping. After sitting through the amusing first half, when finally we were ready to see Akshay learning Kung Fu, Nikhil Advani made sure that we don’t forget the joker that is called Akshay. In his signature Delhi’ite desi (Bache ki jaan lega be) style, he jokes around with his master and falls in love with his daughter. Seriously, Akshay, I believe is now stretching it a little. I mean, it has been fun watching him mouth these desi lines with amazing comic timing but it’s getting too much to take now. There isn’t even a hint of freshness in his performance and his character appears to have been carried forward from Tashan to Singh is King and to CC2C. The director’s insinuation with CH is so strong (read CHAndni, CHOwk, CHIna) that you sometimes wonder whether CHU…. is actually what he’s trying to make of you.
The best Kung Fu is surprisingly displayed by Deepika Padukone. She seems to have worked hard to perfect her moves and her standing kicks actually go higher than her head. She was definitely a treat to watch. Only if, she was given a few more fights… The movie’s got it all: clichéd storyline, a big goon the size of Sabu (remember Chacha choudhary), a Kung Fu master playing the Chinese bad guy, his lethal hat move, everything, but suffers from horrendous execution. I mean, the climax fight between Akshay and the villain which is supposed to be the highest point of the movie has Kailash Kher singing some idiotic song called “Dag mag dag mag chalne wala something something… S.I.D.H.U, Naam hai Sidhu” in the background and Akshay making a joke of his moves. The villain who was supposed to be a Kung Fu master is reduced to a mere buffoon.
It’s never a good sign when you’re relieved that the movie has ended and this one sure provided me with some relief. I think we’ve now had enough of mindless and loud idiotic comedy. Are we Indians really that stupid? It’s time to clear my brain of this garbage and get ready for Slumdog Millionaire. Finally, it’s all set for a Dubai release. The only thing right with this one though, is its acronym – CC2C (see see to see), how stupid can we get.
//The director’s insinuation with CH is so strong (read CHAndni, CHOwk, CHIna) that you sometimes wonder whether CHU…. is actually what he’s trying to make of you.
Hahahaha.. That was super 🙂
I guess this one’s def not for the theatre then..
Thanks for saving my money !! lol
CHU…hahahahahaha 😀
NO see see to see for me to see 😛
I think I’ll wait a few more days and watch LUCK BY CHANCE…I am not so despo to go to theatre…yet!! 😛
Now….when can I have the BMW?? :p
AK has certainly carried forth the same image frm Tashan n Singh is Kingh which were both mindless flicks.
He shud learn sumthin frm Aamir atleast.
NO cc2c 4 me now 🙂
hopin Slumdog n Luck by Chance wont let me down..
no cmnts on Raaz-2 though(just that Kangana’s bath scene has been deleted)
those who ‘ve seen it…plz reply whether cc2c is inspired by Kung Fu Panda r nt??
u write really good reviews….
LMAO at the CHU… and ‘bachhe ki jaan lega be’…hahahaha…
by the way, whats with the acronym? i still did not get the last line 😦
@Urv: Surely not, send me the money instead 🙂
@Dhiren: Friendship mein, No thank you, no sorry, send it to me… 🙂
@Smriti: now, now, good girls shouldn’t be lingering too much on that word 🙂 And yeah, Luck By Chance seems to be good especially Farhan looks promising. But Hrithik doin his jhatkas and lachkas has started gettin on my nerves.
For the BMW, you’ll have to wait coz. once i’ve a 1,000 followers, then we’ll have a lucky draw to choose from all of you 🙂
@Ankit: Kangana’s bath scene??? Did I miss this one… Nahiiiiiinnnnn, or I guess they showed a skeleton bathin and people might have mistook it for Kangana 😛 And inspired from Kungfu Panda? I heard KP is a good movie…
@Rebel: Thanks, I completed the sentence beginning with the acronym – “see see to see, how stupid can we get”
Nahiiiiiiiiiii…yeh nahiii hoo saktaaa
Is it sooo bad?? I’ve got 2 tickets for tday’s show..
Aaaah thank U for telling what I already knew:-D. Somehow I knew this movie was not going to work.
Great review Rakesh….u knw even in the trailers DP’s moves come across stylish.
p.s: Do u think AK’s bad luck time is going to start;-o??????
Your review mirrored my sentiments…since, we saw the movie together I'm sure you heard my comments & yawns at regular intervals 🙂 !
But i was still waiting for your review to see if it reflects the agony we all went thru watching this shitload on a beautiful Thursday night!
And it was certainly worth the wait!!! (atleast your posts never disappoint…)
I shud have taken ur review seriously..the movie suckeddddddddd! my mom slept in the middle of the film..
I want to slap Akshay Kumar, Nikhil Advani, Kailash Kher and entire cast and crew of CHANDNI CHOWK TO CHINA..
The most ****ed up film of the year!
Wht on earth was Advani thinking wen he made this ridiculous film!
The annoying background score in the climax scene gets to u..
@Reflections: Seriously, I think AK cannot continue to play – the jerk who always gets lucky, movie after movie. He’s gotta try something new now.
@Deepa: Actually your comments and yawns kept waking me up from my sleep 😛 But the brownie and ice-cream after the movie sure made it up 🙂
@Swats: Shant bachi shant, itna krodh acha nahin hai. Yeh **** taaron ka kya matlab hai 😛 he he Welcome to the CHU… club 🙂
LOL another funny review!
Did Deepika go meoooww meoooow each time? Someone else told me that abt this movie!
Keshi.
Shant Rakesh Shant!!! Forgive the makers and actors and like me pledge not to watch movies of Akshay, Aamir, Salman and SRK till it is known that the movie is a masterpiece.. and if its dabba like this then watch it on DVD… .like I did for super bekaar movies of last year Yuvvraaj, Rab Ne… and Ghajini..
Btw, heard there is a scene… ‘Oh, Mere Iron Man’!!!! Haha, I am still LOLing at that..
And as some one said above CHU…. kayko apna CHU.. banane ka in so called superstars ki movies theater me dekh ke and inko revenu de ke.. Give me OLLO any day..
i loved Urv’s comment.
And yes, we have also decided to give this one a miss…
Slumdog? Will wait for ur review. Have already posted mine.
Okay..trust me! I always expected this movie to be sheer crap.
But come on..now don’t make Kung Fu’s standards deteriorate :P..
I hte Akshay Kumar’s look..pretty stupid! :D..
And lol @ CC2C
@Keshi: yeah she was peculiarly named Meow, how innovative is that?
@Oxy: You know, I think as long as I don’t get a headache after watching a movie, its fine I mean after all, I did pass 3 hours of my free time on a weekend and gathered enough gyaan to write a funny post 🙂
Regarding Khosla type movies (haven’t yet seen OLLO), I prefer enjoying them on DVD since they’re not grand, so to say.
Yeah, there is this mention of Iron Man but didn’t seem funny at all in the movie.
@HDWK: Good u saved ur bucks 🙂
@Crystal: Akshay has actually started looking stupid after two back to back roles where he’s played an idiot – SIK and CC2C…
HAHAHAHA!
very innovative I must say…for a human to go MEOW!
Keshi.
Haye. I soooo regret missing classes and attendance and dragging everyone to see this movie! Akshay Kumar isn’t even looking hot.
weee howwwn aaar– thats what they say for How are you? If and IF they were actually using correct chineese. Lol
It was actually like Kung fu panda with all the fun and logic killed.
I mean how can you kill mithun in a movie and expect the movie to work out