Memories on the Internet!

A very long time ago, (seems like a 100 years), I was young… and I was in love. No surprise? Ok I was in love again… But this time (like every other frikkin time) it felt real and it felt that it’ll last forever…

And then one day, it seemed that it might suddenly end… Again! I was heartbroken for the umm… (don’t remember how many so I’ll just say) umpteenth time. And in that moment, I wrote this…

You’re not indispensible…
Seeing you walking out the door
I felt a feeling I can’t describe
There was so much pain and agony
But all that I tried to hide
But a fear still exists in my mind;

What if you walk out of my life?
What if our ways part?
What if to our wishes God turns blind?
What if you take back your heart?

When you were gone, I felt so lonely
So incomplete, and so …
I don’t know
I wish this never happens to our life
Forgetting you is out of question
Coz. If I cut you off, I’d cut myself with the same damn knife.

Words could never express how much I love you
Or when I’m with you, What I feel
If there was some place like heaven
There I’ve already been.

I’ve tried to explain
I had to try
“No one’s indispensable”
Here doesn’t apply.

“A life without you”
The only thought makes me cold and numb
I can’t hide, I can’t run
I’m at a pointWhere I believe, it’s YOU or NO ONE.

And those were the days when internet had just begun so I posted this on a poetry library website – http://www.lovingyou.com. I never knew that centuries later, when I google my name, this might just pop up.

Though I’m so over it, (yes, I do at least remember which girl who I wrote this for) and a tad embarrassed on this disclosure but I thought I’ll show off my softer poetic side :-).

Moral of the story: Be careful what you post on the internet!

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Daddy Day Care – Lullabies

This is a day before Sakshi went to India. I was trying to put Yuvaan to sleep to get some practice before the real exam… After a few minutes, he runs out of the room and goes to his Mummy. I come out accepting defeat, “He isn’t sleepy!”.

“Sing to him” Sakshi says, so I’m back inside trying again.

I take him to the window and make him see cars below. He seems drowsy so I go in for the kill. I rest his head on my shoulder and think of a song… Can’t think of any so just start singing whatever comes in my mouth…

He says “Pappa gadi bataye”

So I start singing
“Pappa bataye, Yuvaan so jaaye…
Pappa bataye, Yuvaan so jaaye”

And then, after a pause…

“Lal gadi, pili gadi
Lal gadi, pili gadi

Pappa bataye, Yuvaan so jaaye
Pappa bataye, Yuvaan so jaaye”

He seems to close his eyes. I’m buoyed by the success so I go ahead

“Ek gadi, do gadi
Teen gadi, char gadi

Pappa bataye, Yuvaan so jaaye
Pappa bataye, Yuvaan so jaaye”

Now I’m really getting the hang of it and he seems to like the tune (and my soothing voice of course) so I continue…

“Slow gadi, fast gadi
Slow gadi, fast gadi

Pappa bataye, Yuvaan so jaaye
Pappa bataye, Yuvaan so jaaye”

And it actually works. I take him to the bed and make him lie on the bed but he clings to me… says “Pappa soye”

So I sleep next to him, and he climbs on top of me and snuggles his head in my neck. I think he’s off to sleep! But he lifts his head, eyes half closed says “Pappa… gana gao”

And I go again… “Pappa bataye, Yuvaan so jaaye…” till he’s in dreamland.

***

Next day, I’m happy and confident that my lullaby will put him off to sleep. I change him into his night suit but he insists that he’ll wear it himself “Yuvaan pehne”. Click here to see how 🙂

I’m all set to put him off to sleep so I tell him “Yuvaan so jaaye” and he says “Pappa gana gao”. “Kaun sa gana” I ask him. He says, “Gadi wala”. Wow, the song is already a hit I think :-). I tap myself on the back and he climbs on top of me and snuggles in.

I begin and am just a minute into crooning the song that he lifts his head up and says “Na na na na”. I think, he loves my voice. So I change track…

“Meri laundry ka ek bill,
Ek Aadhi padhi novel,
Na na na na na
Na na na na na

Ek ladki ka phone number,
Mere kaam…”

He interrupts “Bachana”

So I change track again
“Bachna ae hasino, lo mein aa gaya
Husn ka aashiq, husn ka dushman
Apni ada hai…”

He interrupts again “Eea Eea Oo”

I’m glad he’s learning something in school as well. I change track…

“Old Mcdonald had a farm
Eea Eea Ooo
And on that farm, he had some chicks
Eea Eea Ooo”

I sing this really slowly and softly hoping he’ll sleep listening to it. But he again lifts his head and looks up…

“Pappa eyes coz” (eyes close)

So I close my eyes but continue singing and tapping him and he says

“Pappa gadi wala gana”

So I ask him “Kaun sa gadi wala”

He says “Pappa so jaaye, Gadi bataye…
Yuvaan bataye, pappa so jaaye”

He’s confused and doesn’t exactly remember the lyrics but he sure loves this song :-).

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