Kurbaan – Movie Review

To all the lovely ladies who insisted I watch Kurbaan and review it…
I’ll kill you !

(Can’t help it, I’m in this dumb killer mood after watching a movie that killed all my smart brain cells; even the desire to watch Kareena Kapoor’s bare back was killed by UAE censors.)

I think this concept of the suave and sexy Muslim terrorist luring an unsuspecting demure damsel to further his ends of blowing up a few more people has been done to death now; and ya, even the premise of another Muslim coming to the rescue; Obviously. The movie uses the clichéd modern day plot of Islamic terrorism against the US but then they throw in the love angle which is as absurd as Vinod Kambli in reality TV.

The problem begins with the very first shot. Saif and Kareena have been together for so long that no matter how hard they try to act like strangers; they come across as a couple having a love tiff. It took me a few minutes to realize that they actually were strangers in the movie. But a few coffees and an awkward smooch later, they are in love. But by this time, they actually look like they’re actors just pretending to be in love. I couldn’t really get it whether it was plain bad acting or it was me.

And then since you do not feel any love between them, you do not feel any pain when Kareena discovers that her handsome husband is a member of a terrorist sleeper cell, unlike Fanaa where the initial love story was so sweet that it was hard, not to feel sorry for Kajol.  Throughout the rest of the movie, the director seems unsure whether Kareena loves him or loves him not. And given that Saif was playing a most wanted terrorist, how easily did he give up his objective of blowing up people for saving the girl whom he used to get to the US. The entire premise is so messed up, it doesn’t make any sense.

Saif and Kareena together sure make the hottest couple on and off screen and after the first few minutes, you do start appreciating Kareena’s new designer look and Saif’s royal lineage but if that’s what we wanted to see, we could pick-up any movie magazine and they’re splashed all over the pages like some bad curry stain. And Viveik Ouberoioiooio (why take chances) – man, he clearly is the most grating actor on screen; even more than John Abraham. (Yeah, now imagine how did the world survive Kaal). Simply put, he’s got a weird hairdo, zero acting skills, and expressions that resemble a turd toad. Add to that, he’s given brains of a turd toad (I’m really enjoying this) in the movie. He doesn’t call the police or the FBI when he gets information about suspects behind a bomb but in true 70s style, he goes after the terrorists himself… singlehandedly, infiltrates their group and comes out a winner. And oh ya, he does call the FBI at the end anyways.

Clichéd characters – all terrorists wear pathanis and their wives are Abaya adorning dumb figures; Clichéd dialogues – do people still argue about who is the real terrorist – US or the Taliban? Or how many people died in 9/11 vis-à-vis how many people died in Iraq?; Clichéd acting – the guys playing terrorists speak less and are always angry, the lady terrorist has a pashto accent. Actually this reminds me, what a misfit the Saif seemed in their group wearing Italian cut suits and smart ties.

So I guess, in spite of the screwed up review (if I could call it that), you do get the drift. Thankfully, it is now time for some seriously nice cinema. Dubai International Film Festival begins on 9th December.

Uninhibited Capitalism – Why?

Warning: Long Post, and no humour.

This actually started out as a comment on QI’s post as a reply to Ketan’s comment. Especially, this part of the comment: “…How years of repression and poverty, makes any average person lust for power and money. How we as peoples have been attaching too much importance to perceived superiority. How we all bow down before authority with utmost respect without pausing even once to think if that respect is even deserved! We are slaves to ‘image’ as against any real substance. This creates in everyone, a desire to subjugate others, exploit them, and ‘feel’ superior to them…”

I’ve thought about stuff like this a lot of times. About what is the use of complaining and not doing anything about it; About what can we possible do; About how will an average Indian change? Just, why have we started proving Darwin’s theory of ‘Survival of the fittest’ so right? Ketan’s posts have helped me in making my thoughts more coherent so if you find this rant a little too crazy, you know who to blame.

Though it might just be just another crazy tangent but I think, the most important thing that we could do to make a lot of difference is to raise children with morals. I’ve seen children grow up in the neighbourhood in India with absolutely no idea about morals or about empathy, and I don’t get it. I don’t understand why all our education or rather schooling does is to teach us how to be successful. (Though there could be further debate on whether the schooling does even that, but let’s not digress.)  I don’t understand why the parents and teachers don’t dedicate some time to teach children that life is not about having ‘things’ or life isn’t only about scoring high marks or being successful in life.

Life is about being good – being good to your classmates, being good to your neighbours, being respectful to every human being including the maid in your house, the janitor who cleans your bathrooms and even the dumb guy in your team who doesn’t know how to hold a bat.

All parents teach kids is study well or else you’ll fail and then you’ll become like this good for nothing uncle of yours sitting at the pan shop whole day. Study well and then you’ll get a good job with a fat salary and then you can buy expensive cars.  Be brave, if someone hits you, don’t come back crying.

If kids make fun of another kid, they feel nothing. Kids just want to hop on their elder sister’s Scooty and zoom away to show off their friends as soon as they can grow up. They want to have the new shoe that has just been launched and the newest video game on the stores. Why?

Coz. they’ve seen their parents doing this all their life; slowly working their way from a small house to a big bungalow, from a scooter to a car. No, there is nothing wrong in improving your standard of living but just for once, consider the cost of uninhibited capitalistic greed on the society. I don’t have a problem with big and expensive cars but I’ve a problem with the feeling that there’s nothing more in life than being successful and success is only measured by the money you make, the car you drive and the brands you wear; That children go to school only to get a career and be even richer than their parents; That life is fun only when you own the latest Xbox or PS2 and the kid who has it all is the most luckiest kid in the class. And Parents take pride in fulfilling every wish of their child – “My son should have everything that I didn’t have when I was a kid.” Just stop and think – What kind of generation are we bringing up?

The standard of living of an average Indian has multiplied a number of times compared to when I was a kid. Majority of all the students in my class today are richer and more well off than when we were in school. And that can be said to be a sign of success of each one of them as well as the progress of the country. But with this success comes the sense of superiority. The feeling that “I’ve arrived and have done so on my own” but where is the sense of social responsibility, the sense of giving back to society? What would a parent then pass on to his/her kids? Obviously, the most important bit of their life that is – How to be successful? But who will teach their kids that it’s ok if you don’t have a lot of money? It is not the end of the world if you can’t buy a car. Why does this success bring in a superiority complex in front of those class mates who may not be as successful? Maybe because they were not good at maths or English or accounts or maybe because they did not get the opportunity as their parents could not afford to send them to college.

I guess we are just numb – numb with greed and numb of others suffering because we hardly can fulfil our own needs. We want so much – so much is available – is out there that we can see on TV but still can’t possess or own. “I just have to buy a Bentley before I retire, I just have to go for an international vacation once every year, I love the caffee latte at Starbucks.”

Every human organism in the society right from the lowest levels to the richest man in the country wants more. We slog for as many hours as possible in a day to be successful and those who slog it out are respected as hard workers and highly successful Industrialists. But why has life only become about earning and then spending whatever you earn? Have you seen one person (and that is including me and you) who thinks he has enough money and he doesn’t need any more to buy the next desirable object on his list? The sole purpose of life has become to buy, consume and buy more and nobody really does anything except for the want of money in return so that he can buy more things.

Take for instance doctors – Why does a kid grow up to be a doctor these days? Is it to contribute to the health and well being of society? Is it really to relieve the pain and suffering of a fellow human?

Take teachers – Who today has is really interested in becoming a teacher? Who thinks that I want to teach kids and make a difference in their lives? But everybody is though interested in opening tuition / coaching classes – Why?

Every lucrative profession becomes a hit with kids passing out of their boards, first it was Doctors and Engineers, then it was MBAs, later it became CA. It doesn’t matter what you like doing coz. at the end of the day, with hard work you’ll succeed. This is what our teachers and parents tell us. And with success we mean only and only the monetary kind.

Capitalism may have been a great tool to unite the world, make it a smaller place, but if we do not maintain a balance in our lives and continue to spoil ourselves silly with things, we then cannot be blaming the state of the country or our politicians. After all, at the end of the day, it is only about having more money. If we do not give our kids a set of morals and values, they’ll be blown away with the desire to have more and more and still want more.

I guess, if we are to see a positive change in society, we have to start looking at the future generation. We have to start telling them that all those advertisements on TV are just advertisements. They don’t mean the world. We have to teach them that it is ok if you are not among the top 5 in class. Daddy doesn’t really crave for that new car, a new t-shirt is not important and NO – YOU WILL NOT HAVE THAT LATEST PLAY STATION JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE HAS IT AND YOU LIKE IT.

Wake Up Sid – Movie Review

Fresh, inspiring and awfully sweet, debutant director Ayaan Mukherji’s ‘Wake Up Sid’ is sheer genius. Inspite of a simple and predictable story, ‘Wake Up Sid’ manages to feel bright and make you smile a lot. It’s so sweet, it almost hurts.

The story is quite obvious even from the titles and the promos. Sid Mehra (Ranbir) has just finished college and is completely aimless. On the very same day, he has a chance encounter with Aisha Banerjee (Konkona Sen Sharma) who is the exact opposite of what he is. The movie is basically about Sid’s journey from the day he’s out of college to the day he’s finally found his calling. The magic is however in the small moments of his learning; in his failures and his initial denial and later in his acceptance; in his realization of love and the direction of life. Each such moment has been scripted brilliantly and the performances are just right. Neither too loud, nor too subtle, Ayaan Mukherji has managed to brilliantly balance realism with story-telling. For instance, when Sid goes to meet his mom, he doesn’t give her a hug, and that was very like him. At another place, just the expressions on a mom’s face while playing with her son for a picture perfect moment do the talking. No dialogues are said, there isn’t a heavy background score. Just a few light guitar strings and her expressions make the audience feel exactly what Sid is feeling.

Another thing I loved about the movie was that though Sid grows up in the movie, he still remains a kid at heart. He doesn’t grow up beyond his capabilities and become a hero. He just conquers his demons and for him, that’s enough growing up. And again as I said, the magic is in the nuances. At one stage, he looks at Konkona and winks. That one second scene, that subtle mannerism of his, is another step in his personal journey.

Ranbir finally seems to have dug out his dad’s innocence and his mom’s good looks from his gene pool; not to mention the acting talent. Sid Mehra’s boyish and vulnerable charm is very likeable and (I know I’m repeating this but there is no other way to describe it) awfully sweet. Konkona Sen is, as always, a class act. She plays her part to perfection. But this is Ranbir’s movie all along. He alone, is the 10 reasons to watch ‘Wake Up Sid’. And then you’ve got Konkona, and the music.

The music is another super score by Shankar Ehsaan Loy. This trio has somehow sensed the change in music tastes or maybe they are being the change themselves. Right from Taare Zameen Par to Rock On and now to Wake Up Sid, their music is starting to change the feel of movies. What was Pianos in the 1970s was replaced by Violins and Keyboards during the 90s (remember Phir Teri Kahani Yaad Aayi by Anu Malik) and now their music has primarily guitar strings. That is one reason why their music sounds so fresh and new.

If you’re still wondering, I’d say ‘Wake Up Sid’ is definitely a must watch. Yes, the story is predictable and we could’ve done with a little more witty humor considering it features college kids but the magic of the movie is in its feel. It comes across as nice, honest and extremely endearing, just like its protagonist Sid, and you don’t even have to switch off your brains to enjoy it.

That’s Exactly why score-cards don’t reveal the Truth!

India vs. Pakistan

Pakistan set India a target of 303, an asking rate of 6.06. India loses by 54 runs with Dravid top scoring with 76 of a 103 balls. The record books will show that Dravid was the best performer in the Indian batting line up but the other batsmen did not perform so India lost. But the truth cannot be far from this scorecard.

Why? That is the truth – Only Dravid scored, everyone else failed.

Dravid scored at a rate of 4.4 runs an over and he used up 17 overs. So effectively, the rest of the batsmen had to score 227 runs out of 33 overs – a required rate of 6.87.

But that is why he is in the team. He is to play the role of an anchor while others around him can score big.

True. He can be a sheet anchor to an extent. Like when he was in partnerships with Gambhir and Raina, he could afford to be the sheet anchor and hold fort at one end while the other batsman was blazing away. But when Yousuf Pathan came into bat, he was a big disappointment. Ideally since Pathan was new to the crease, any batsman who has been set for over an hour and scored 50 runs would be expected to change gears and ease the pressure by scoring a few boundaries while Pathan settles down at the other end. But Dravid continued to do the only thing he knows – take a single and get off the strike. The poor Pathan who had just come in had to start hitting shots without getting his eye in. And the obvious happened. He got out trying to go for a big hit.

What is an even bigger shame was that when after Pathan, Harbhajan came in, Dravid again continued to do the same – take a single and get off the strike. This is the best way to get off responsibility and keep your score inching ahead. This is quite evident from the fact that chasing a target of 303, Dravid could manage to hit only 4 boundaries in his 103 ball innings.

Usually when Dravid walks in to bat, everyone on the other end tries to up the scoring so as to ease the pressure on Dravid and allow him to get his eye in. But not Dravid. Coz. he has a limitation. He doesn’t know anything else other than take singles. Yes if you bowl on his pads, he’ll hit the occasional boundary but that’s it.

Add to that the fact that Dravid was clearly responsible for running Gambhir out. He called for a single and then stopped. Gambhir had to turn back and was short coz. of a direct hit. This happened at a time when Gambhir was looking dangerous.

But even Dhoni failed and so did Virat Kohli.

Yes, they did fail and this post is not about Dhoni or Virat Kohli. Their scorecards revealed that they failed and that is the truth. This post is about why the score-card that shows Dravid is a top performer, is nothing but a lie because he was pathetic – truly pathetic. For instance, when Pathan got out, India still needed some 70 odd runs from 10 overs. The top-scorer was still at the crease. If at that point say you had a Yuvaraj or a Dhoni or a Sehwag or a Gambhir or a Sachin or any other batsman, there would still be hope. But with Dravid on the crease, it never even looked remotely possible. He was still taking singles.

Why have a batsman in the side who is on the wrong side of his 30s, who is incapable of changing gears when the situation demands so, who is a below average fielder and his catching skills has also gone for a toss, who is definitely not in the scheme of the team’s future and who has a career scoring rate of only 4.27 per over. He does his own thing regardless of the target or the situation. He lets pressure eat up the rest of the batsmen and finally when it is beyond him, he gets out with the top score. Yes he scores runs but at his own pace. He is severely limited and the moment you have an asking rate of 6 an over, it is well and truly beyond him.

But all of this will be deemed just emotional because the scorecard will never reveal what happened yesterday. It will not show that Dravid did not take responsibility when he was well set; it won’t reveal that he took a single and got off strike instead of taking the strike and scoring some runs; it won’t reveal that he was on self-preservation mode. What it will show is that he was the top scorer but India lost because nobody else performed.

Wanted – Movie Review

‘Abey, woh He-Man ka baap hai, Batman ka chacha hai, Bruce-lee ka nana hai woh; Last action hero hai‘.  With these lines, enters Radhe (Salman Khan).  I’d say it’s been a long long time but finally as Rakhi would put it ‘Mere Karan-Arjun aa gaye‘.  Yes, the last action hero has arrived and how.  “Boom boom bang bang bang; too much action” complained a friend when we got out of the movie.  I told him “Have you ever complained that there was too much comedy in a comedy movie?“   I know it’s silly but the point is Is the action good?  And I swear to God (I’d rather say today – Teri Maa ki kasam) Hell Yeah!

As you would’ve realised, this movie is not for everyone.  No; it is only for those who can watch Salman with our without his shirt.  It’s almost like a gift to his fans.  I think the last time Salman was this serious about action was in ‘Veergati‘.

Small thug with big dreams works his way into the underworld and gets involved in a deadly gang war with his rival gang.  In the middle of all the killing and mayhem, our action hero also tries to play romantic hero with Jhanvi (Ayesha Takia).  Throw in an international don Ghani Bhai, a corrupt police officer Talpade (Mahesh Manjrekar) and an honest commissioner and you at least have something you can call a plot.  The good part is that almost everyone has a sense of humour.  The silly and at times unexpected humour, gives viewers some break in the intensity and the bang bang of this No holds barred WWE event.  The sweet and busty (deadly combination I’d say) Jhanvi is the other refreshing relief.

The songs are when you go out to smoke or take a pee; Loud, out of place and completely forgettable.

The director is Prabhu Deva and the south Indian influence is quite visible in the action but thankfully it has been moderated (a little) for Hindi Movie audiences.

By now, I guess my review is even longer than the thin storyline though with a suprisingly happy ending.  I loved the twist at the end.  Alternatively, if I follow QI’s style, I’d just quote the Black Eyed Peas – ‘Boom Boom Pow’!

Finally…

Finally I’m here…

Expect the craziness to continue !

And to start off a new blog, I’m trying not to be ‘Old wine in new bottle’.  (Btw, old wine is good, wonder who said that quote and what did he actually mean)…

Coming back, on this new blog, I’m trying something new

Blogger Rambo!

What is Rondechak?

Lovely morning in Dubai. 7.30 am. Weather is showing some respite. The morning sun isn’t yet blazing. Or maybe it is but I’m in the air conditioned confines of my tinted car. I switch on the radio expecting to listen to some nice music:

Rondechak won Rondechak
Rondechakaaa wanalo gete
Rondechak won Rondechak
Rondechakaaa wanalo gete

Is this what I get? Is this what I deserve? I mean, who writes these lyrics? And who actually sings them? And then they go on…

And we Twist,
We twist
We twist
We twist
And we twist…

Keep twisting buddy, I’m outta here. Actually, you should be twisted out of your brains… and the only other person twisting would be Majrooh Sultanpuri in his grave.

I quickly change the station before I burst an artery or something…

Chika chikaaa chikaa
That’s my chika girl
In the bady that we go in the ben girl
That’s my chika girl

No respite here as well. What is Chika? And what is a Chika girl? And someone please tell me what is that third line that the rapper sings? And that’s not all, somewhere ahead in the song…

Bring it on, Bring it on, Bring it on Jaana…

What is that supposed to mean? Is he inviting her for a Boxing match? Wasn’t this a song meant to patao his girl? Is she a wrestler?

And surprisingly these lyrics have been written by Javed Akhtar.

I guess, I should listen to radio only on Thursday nights after having a few beers. For the mornings, I’d rather stick to the business breakfast.

A to Z

I’m sorry I know I haven’t done a lot of tags that you’ve bestowed me with. I’m trying slowly and gradually, i’ll finish all of them. Vee tagged me this one. Since my son has learnt his ABCs in playschool, he sings it loud everyday, especially the part – ELLO MENO P. So thanks to him, I didn’t have much trouble in doing this tag…

A – Available/Single?
Err… Umm… Not Single… But never unavailable…

B – Best friend?
Depends on the activity I’m looking forward to. Movies with my wife, Drinking and cards with others, camping with others, coffee and conversations with others. Can’t do everything with the same best friend.

C – Cake or Pie?
Neither but if you insist… Cake.

D – Drink of choice?
Water, Beer (Corona, Kingfisher) Red Wine (In no particular order)

E – Essential item you use every day?
Toothbrush with paste giving my breath freshness – (talk to me baby) I even gave a toothbrush to my gf as a gift so that she would think of me every morning

F – Favorite colour?
God, this sounds like those slam books I used to fill in 5th standard.

G – Gummy Bears or Worms?
No, I think 4th standard.

H – Hometown
Adipur (Kachchh) Love that place. I try to be there every year during Navratri.

I – Indulgence?
No, can’t be explicit. So I’d say Books, Movies, Cards (teen patti – the desi version of poker)

J – Jealous or Benign?
Benign. (Obviously)

K – Kids & their names?
Yuvaan & Hayaa (My brother’s daughter but she calls me Pappa as well – Chotu pappa)

L – Life is incomplete without?
People

M – Marriage date?
26 Nov. Unfortunately will be remembered forever for as a dark day for India.

N – Name? Your real name!
Rakesh

O – Oranges or Apples?
Mangoes

P – Phobias/Fears?
Somehow, I don’t seem to have any Phobias yet.

Q – Quote for today?
Not only for today but for everyday – Live the moment

R – Reason to smile?
If I could make someone else smile

S – Season?
Anything but cold depressing winters (In Dubai however, Winters are the best time)

T – Tag 3 People?
The first three comments [Now come first ]

U – Unknown fact about me?
is unknown for a reason

V – Vegetable you don’t like?
Love vegetables, maybe dislike Bitter Gourd (Karelas) but again depends on how is it prepared.

W – Worst habit?
Limited concentration. I get bored of stuff pretty soon.

X – X-rays?
Back, molar

Y – Your favorite food?
Plenty – My wife’s Mutton or Chicken Biryani (as well as a few restaurants here), Khavda’s Rasmalai, Bhindis, Nawab’s Mutton soup, Moti Mahal’s Chicken Kali Mirch soup, Tasty Bites Chicken Shawarma, Pizza at Go Bananas, brownie with Vanilla ice cream and hot choc. Sauce (especially at Chillis or Yoko sizzler), I could go on and on…

Z – Zodiac sign?
23 July (Some books say Cancer, some say Leo, I think Human)

Kaminey – Movie Review

Serious critics will pretend to love it. It always happens with a Vishal Bharjdwaj movie. How can you not enjoy a Vishal Bharjdwaj movie? You’d be dumb to not like it. I’ve not yet seen Maqbool and I thought Omkara was overrated. But this time I was looking forward to watching Kaminey. I somehow felt good about Shahid’s look and his lisp-ness in the promos. I wasn’t disappointed, not for the first half at least. For the better part of the movie, it keeps you engrossed, it surprises you and the tight crisp script keeps you edgy. But later somehow, it just flattens out. The brilliant screenplay somehow nearing the end loses steam and just wants to get done with. And the surprising part is that the lengthy climax scene wasn’t really necessary. The movie could’ve ended before the climax began but I dunno why, all the characters gather in a chawl in Mumbai and the climax goes to party with blazing guns. It feels like suddenly Vishal went for a loo break and Priyadarshan took over.

There are some outstanding moments though. Bhope’s conversation with Mikhail is funny, fascinating and chilling all at once. The background score at that point, the dark lighting in the room, the dialogues, everything about that scene is almost perfect. Then, there’s another scene where Charlie and his friends discover they’ve screwed up at the hotel. The understated humor in the circumstances is just too good. Even the romantic angle between Shahid and Priyanka and the political issue is a nice complete subplot in itself, not at all belittled by the crime thriller going on at the other end. Priyanka in her role as bold and beautiful Sweety is remarkable. She is a wonderful actress and with her performance she almost single handedly carries the parallel plot to conclusion.

Shahid Kapoor has finally grown up. This has to be one of his finest performances to date. He plays a double role and though, as Guddu he is his regular chocolate boy self; as Charlie, he comes of age. Charlie the lisp will definitely be added to the most interesting characters in Bollywood – Ferioufly. His rugged look with unkempt long hair and stubble fit his character perfectly. He looks exactly what his character is – Bad guy but naïve, tough yet soft, greedy yet scared… There is something about Vishal Bhardwaj’s characters. Langda Tyagi in Omkara or Charlie in Kaminey or even Omi Shukla in and as Omkara, all his characters have depth, shades, typical mannerisms and that makes them a treat to watch.

I enjoy a movie with different characters and their personalities if it is woven tightly into the main plot but I’m not sure if a movie with so many characters appeals to a many people. I think a lot of audiences find such plots discerning and they loose the plot. There are numerous characters and a few sub-plots into the main plot but the script has been kept taut right to the end… almost. The last half hour is where all hell breaks loose, literally. All characters assemble at a location and start playing ‘Contra’. You don’t really understand who’s shooting who but people are surely dying. This sort of left a sour taste at the end.

But apart from this, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. The story is interesting, the screenplay has been kept tight, the humor is unassuming yet intelligent and hilarious and the music – a few songs are definitely very good. ‘Dhen te nen’ is already a club thumper. But I loved the slow title track sung by Vishal Bhardwaj himself. Technically the movie is awesome. Brilliant cinematography by Tassaduq Hussain; He was the same guy who won a number of awards for cinematography for Omkara and this movie similarly has warm overtones to the picture. Similarly the editing by Meghna Sen (again who won an award for Omkara) is equally good keeping in mind there are scenes where twin brothers fight each other.

After the glut of nonsensical fare being dished out, finally there is something to enjoy, something worth spending your hard earned money in the theatres. This time the critics might actually love it.

Luck – Movie Review

Cast: A whole lot of good actors
Writer & Director: Soham Shah

Soham Shah makes movies like Paris Hilton – Occasionally good to look at but full of crap. The torture of Kaal, though I watched it in 2005, was still fresh in my mind when I ventured into the theatre to watch Luck. Why did I go? Well, the promos seemed promising; there was Sanju Baba who is any day a better actor than John wooden Abraham and Vivek irritating Oberoi; and most of all I thought Soham would’ve grown as a Director in 4 years. Unfortunately, some things never change.

The opening sequence tells you what the movie is all about – Interesting premise with larger than life characters but let down by fudgy camera shots and tacky computer graphics. The movie starts of introducing the main characters and their LUCK. Moosa Bhai (Sanju) was extremely lucky to have survived a building collapse, floods and falls from high rises during his life and once he discovered this trait of his, he made fortunes playing by his luck. He then takes this game of Luck to a whole new level where people blessed with awesome luck will play games involving life and death while bidders would bid on each of them. Surviving this 20 day game would give the winners a chance to win the jackpot but it would also make a lot of money for the betting syndicate run by Moosa Bhai.

The characters are equally interesting – Ram Mehra (Imran Khan) – a bank employee who’s in big trouble but extremely lucky though he doesn’t know it yet; Major Jawar Pratap (Mithun) – who has been in numerous wars but has never been shot once; Shortcut (Chitrashi Rawat ‘Bhains ki punch’ fame of Chak De) who’s a camel jockey and has never lost a race; Raghav (Ravi Kishan) who was the first person who escaped death sentence because of a faulty noose; and Ayesha (Shruti Hassan) who had won the first jackpot and has returned for the second season of the game.

But that’s where the fun and thrill ends. First of all, the movie takes awfully long to introduce each of the characters with major screen time given to Imran Khan (which sort of tells you that he’s gonna win at the end). Finally when the game is set to begin, you see a number of faces from other countries but none of them is a character. They are just plain sideys who are there only for a minute or two. It would have been really thrilling to get a few unknown foreign faces involved in the act here. In the first game, there is a Pushto speaking actor who has a dialogue and it seems, the movie might get interesting with all these other characters but alas, he lasts only for 2 minutes. Then onwards, the movie becomes horribly predictable as far as the storyline goes. But one thing you can never predict is – How dim is the director gonna get?

In the middle of all this, there is time to sing a few songs, sit around a camp fire, go fishing at beautiful locations, fall in love, the bad guy attempting a rape but the hero appearing at the right time, everything that you would otherwise see in a typical stupid Hindi movie, and the funny part is all of this is without a purpose – it doesn’t take the story forward at all. All of this could’ve been edited without losing the story. When that is possible, it means there is something seriously wrong with the script.

And just when you are waiting for the movie to end, Soham takes ‘stupid’ to a whole new level. The final game is set which is basically an action sequence on top of a train, good guys vs. bad guys, and which has got nothing to do with LUCK. To top it off, the execution is horrendous, a lot of new sideys enter the game just like that, Ravi-Kishan goes on a video game rampage, firing bullets with a weird face, Imran Khan runs dodging bullets which were anyways being fired somewhere else, land mines which explode minutes later behind him and sword yielding Kung fu fighters who just fall and die once he looks at them.

Shruti Hassan definitely has her mom’s good looks but is far from her dad’s acting talent. The other actors are good in what they do but they are sadly let down by a paralyzed script. And yes, there is Mithun da reliving his ‘Koi Shak’ days.

I went to the movie with expectations of amazing stunts but was hugely disappointed. People diving from the sky look like they’re standing in their balcony leaning down. Imran Khan said in an interview that they had to do a Scuba diver’s course but I’m wondering where did he Scuba dive in the movie. There’s a tacky stunt where they’re under water for 30 seconds and then they show whales sharks (edited, thanks Anon) following them in a different shot. Where the whales sharks appear with the actors, it clearly seems like a computer generated graphic, but there was no scuba equipment, not even a diving suit, what was he talking about? It is really frustrating when actors and directors underestimate audiences expecting them to lap up whatever crap they dish out.

Movies like Luck, Tashan, Tasveer etc. are becoming part of a disturbing trend where a nice subject is reduced to an unwatchable torture. The songs are good, catchy tunes, the title track has Sanjay Dutt dancing in the middle of a few women with a huge belly but nevertheless, the entire package looks good. This along with the initial hour or so of the movie is good. But that’s about it. After building momentum in the first half, the second half is nothing but all masala clichés loosely put together all with cheap video game effects. Disappointing mainly because, being someone who knows how Luck behaves (I’ve tried a lot from cards, cricket, matka etc.) there was definitely an engaging story to be told here. Though not entirely original (premises have been borrowed from ‘The Running Man’ and ‘The Condemned’ but still, it was given a nice twist bringing in the Luck factor. In a movie about gambling, there isn’t a single scene where you feel the rush of betting and winning or losing big money (except maybe a short lighter sequence which is Ok). I wonder who allows Soham Shah to write and then direct such crap. Where is Rajkumar Santhoshi?